Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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