i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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