New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize