dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
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You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
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Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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