i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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