erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize