Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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