So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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