Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize