Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
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I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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