your parents love me but you hate me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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