Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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