he wants to bone in the snuggie
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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