I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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