i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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