Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize