Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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