Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
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