he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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