btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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