the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize