Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference

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  (847): Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference http://tfl.nu/ny65
  Replies (4) Good night (1318) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think that's fair trade off

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  (910): He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj (910): I think that's fair trade off http://tfl.nu/hrzk
  Replies (50) Good night (3649) Bad night (517)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Quoting wale wont save you from herpes

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  (703): Quoting wale wont save you from herpes http://tfl.nu/v00t
  Replies (29) Good night (532) Bad night (2579) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.

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  (780): i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself. http://tfl.nu/5eaf
  Replies (33) Good night (618) Bad night (5906) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?

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  (818): Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales? http://tfl.nu/gvx1
  Replies (30) Good night (6659) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"

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  (602): I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs" http://tfl.nu/3iif
  Replies (19) Good night (3582) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight

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  (703): Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight http://tfl.nu/2em9
  Replies (20) Good night (13783) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?

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  (612): Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong? http://tfl.nu/gz8r
  Replies (44) Good night (1450) Bad night (4652) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.

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  (774): I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys. http://tfl.nu/c88u
  Replies (2) Good night (3009) Bad night (1379) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?

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  (918): did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat? http://tfl.nu/7nmi
  Replies (7) Good night (991) Bad night (2317) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.

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  (423): Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you. http://tfl.nu/zkpt
  Replies (6) Good night (1473) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights

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  (203): Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights http://tfl.nu/qbnp
  Replies (4) Good night (1749) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.

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  (573): These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times. http://tfl.nu/8sq6
  Replies (2) Good night (1387) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.

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  (609): she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka. http://tfl.nu/jihr
  Replies (2) Good night (901) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.

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  (401): she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack. http://tfl.nu/1xr0
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt

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