We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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