Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Four minutes until I can fart!
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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