honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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