what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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