Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
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I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize