By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Barsexuality is the new black.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize