Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize