FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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