I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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