i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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