honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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