I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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