I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize