A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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