No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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