the day after is always just damage control
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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