i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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