You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize