i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1047 607 share tweet
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize