there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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