we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
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He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
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He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I wear drunk well.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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