i just google imaged poop.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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