I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
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I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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