she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize