Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
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I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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