the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
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Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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