I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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