I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize