Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize